Tonight my husband and I got into a heated argument. That isn't a really new thing to us but tonight I realized something. I NEED God to intervene in my life in a deeper way.
A relationship with God, the father of Jesus Christ is nothing new to me. I've been a born again Christian since the late 1990's. I just know that I need a fresh touch, a deeper walk in order to truly change.
We argued tonight,once again, about finances. He said that I am not contributing enough. He's right. I'm not. I haven't held a job for a while now. I was under the impression that we both wanted me at home... No I wasn't. I thought eventually he would accept that I wanted to be at home to raise our son. I thought we would turn into a family like Ann Voskamp(sp?) seems to have. I want devotional time around the dinner table and a general atmosphere of praise and admiration. I want our son to know Jesus and to learn about Him through watching our Godly behavior. I want to make aprons and plant flowers and sell things in an Etsy shop( coming soon). I've found joy in home making activities and homeschooling. My husband says I'm being selfish. I don't know what I think.
Was I forcing my views on my husband? He has claimed salvation from the time he was 10 years old. So I thought this was what he wanted also.
I ask that you pray with me as I seek God and seek to be the woman He has called me to be. Sometimes I just get a little confused about what that all means. This is of course a life long journey. I just want some other travellers to keep me encouraged along the way.
I leave you with this verse. It is the cry of my heart tonight.
2 Chronicles 20:12... For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you. (ESV)